Coping
by ChibotleKentucky
Summary: Romeo isn't acclimating well to being human. All Jesse wants to do is help, but when the person you're trying to help seems hell bent on avoiding you, what are you supposed to do? - (WARNING : CONTAINS DISCUSSION AND IMPLICATIONS OF SELF HARM AND EATING DISORDERS)


One week after Romeo had turned human and started living with Jesse for protection he came home covered in bruises and blood, an open gash on his forehead.

Jesse attempted to find out how he got into this state, but the readhead refused to answer. He just mumbled in response to the brunette's questioning before going upstairs.

He had met Xara on day 4, 3 days ago. The meeting had been... Unhappy. Xara had screamed and cried and told Romeo with unsettling certainty that the moment Jesse dropped him she would tear him apart.

He hadn't even looked surpised. Or scared. Just... Resigned and sad.

They hadn't spoken since then, Xara from anger and Romeo from regret.

When Romeo came down from upstairs on day 9, he looked miserable, but in a way that made it clear he was trying to look normal. Most of the bruises had settled, and while less stark, were now a purplish colour. The cut on his forehead was covered by a bandage that his hair flopped over.

He had moved as if to wave to Jesse, but thought differently at the last moment and lowered his hand. Jesse blinked as he suddenly noticed. Since when did Romeo's shirt have long sleeves?

When he asked, Romeo deflected and said he found it in a drawer, not actually explaining the change of clothes.

Jesse dropped it quickly. It was very minor, after all.

While Romeo kept doing repairs, when he came back instead of talking to Jesse as he did previously, he rushed into his room. When Jesse tried to go into his room, he always received the same phrase.

"Please go away"

It made him increasingly concerned.

Romeo bought a navy hoodie and wore it constantly. The hood was always up, and Jesse found he barely ever saw his face anymore.

3 weeks in, and Romeo stopped coming down to breakfast. He said he got lunch, but Jesse had no way to validate that. Dinner was the only meal he knew for certain Romeo definitely ate.

Romeo encountered Xara again around a month in, and according to Lukas, who had been watching with concern, had just sort of slumped and looked tired. When Xara had, annoyed, asked him what the hell he was doing, he looked completely confused and just... Left.

Lukas told him that Xara had looked utterly fucking bewildered.

When Jesse asked him through his bedroom door, Romeo had admitted he thought Xara was going to fulfill her promise and kill him.

The hero asked why he hadn't tried to defend himself.

He didn't receive an answer, and after several minutes of waiting he left, mind churning.

The morning after, he didn't even get to speak to Romeo before he headed out.

He knew one thing though; the redhead WAS doing the work he was insisting he did. Despite how clearly they hated him, the townspeople admitted they often saw him helping out.

And then a month and a half in the ex-admin came back in beat up like before, except this time he looked worse. Jesse had grabbed him by the arm to stop him running away upstairs, and the other man had made a noise like a wounded animal.

Jesse let go and he darted upstairs.

The pressure his hand had made had clearly re opened a wound, as Jesse's hand was smeared with blood.

The brunette suddenly felt very, very sick. He knew why the bandages kept dissapearing from the bathroom.

He asked Petra to trail Romeo that next day, and so she did. When she dragged him back halfway through the day he froze apon hearing that a group of people weren't taking kindly to Romeo's prescence and took it apon themselves to beat the utter shit from him when they saw him.

The ginger had to be the one to break it up. Romeo hadn't even tried to stop it happening.

Jesse told the other man with a rather firm tone that if he ran upstairs now the brunette would literally rip his door from his hinges. The redhead looked suprised for a moment before slumping on a chair, eyes dead.

And he didn't react to anything for a good ten minutes, amber-blue eyes defocussed.

Until Jesse touched his sleeve with the intent to pull it up.

His hand had grabbed Jesse with such force that it had hurt intensely, and the hero had to scream bloody murder before he snapped out of it and let him go.

Jesse wasn't one to be deterred, and immediately took the moment of mutual shock to fully pull his sleeve down.

He forgot how to breathe.

Romeo had sprinted upstairs and didn't emerge for 3 days.

The next he saw him Stella was literally dragging him out. His arm was heavily bandaged and he was sickly thin.

Stella had slammed a bowl of cereal down and pretty much threatened him until he ate.

The threat that made him move was when she stated if he didn't eat she would get Xara involved.

"No one here's gonna let you die, you idiot" she told him heatedly. "Sitting upstairs until you starve won't solve anything!"

Jesse swallowed apon hearing this. So that was what he was doing..?

Halfway through the bowl he pushed it away and gave Stella a pleading look. "Please?"

She groaned but caved, nodding. He bit his lip and made to run out the door but Jesse got there first and stood in front of the exit. "No. We need to talk"

"About what?" he frowned, making Jesse blink. He seemed more defensive than before. Perhaps the food was making it easier for him to express his emotions clearer?

"What do you think?" Jesse responded flatly. He gestured to Romeo's arm. "How about we start with that?"

The older man clutched his sleeve and growled, and Jesse could see his almost-fang like teeth. "That isn't something to talk about. It doesn't effect you so leave me be"

"It does effect me" Jesse responded sharply, green eyes darker. "Knowing that when i let you go upstairs you're busy cut-" he swallowed. "Harming yourself is stressing me the hell out! I care about you - I'd rather you not be in a pain you can control!"

Romeo sneered. "Don't think about it then"

"OR YOU COULD STOP CUTTING YOURSELF?!" Jesse shouted, before tensing and calming down, wiping away tears that had automatically sprung up from his intense burst of emotion. Romeo looked taken aback. "Jesse-"

"Look, instead of running upstairs when you're overwhelmed, can't you please just talk to me?" the brunette begged. "I'm always willing and it's a better alternative to hurting yourself! And being up there is clearly making you worse - now i hear Stella saying you're trying to starve yourself! Please - can't you just talk to me about this?!"

Stella had been watching silently from the side, but at this point spoke up. "Trust me, Romeo. Talking sure as hell won't 'cure' you or be a fix-all, but it can certainly make it better. I'd know" she didn't even flinch at revealing this information, automatically pressing her arm to her side. Romeo looked shocked for a moment before looking slightly saddened.

"I just... You shouldn't have to deal with this" he said quietly after a moment. "No one should but me-"

"But we WANT to" Stella interrupted sharply. "You gonna tell us what to do?" she lightened it with a slight smirk to show she was partially joking.

Romeo closed his eyes. "You said it's something i can control. I disagree" he made a broken sort of laugh. "I know i could technically stop it, but even the thought of that is foreign to me. It's just how I've been coping, okay? I can't comprehend anything else.." his voice was bitter and Jesse rubbed the back of his own neck. It was clear Romeo couldn't cope now that he didn't have the destructive ability of an Admin. If he couldn't destroy the surroundings to vent, well... He would simply destroy himself.

The brutal nature of the wounds on his arms reflected that. They weren't the thin, straight rows one would expect from a teenage girl, they were violent gashes that honestly should have gotten stitches by now. Jesse had no idea how Romeo hadn't bled out several times already.

He grimaced at the image of the other slumped on his floor, slowly bleeding out with no one to help or care.

...That had probably already happened many times, hadn't it?

He felt like screaming and/or punching a wall.

"Well.. We'll try and help you find a situation where you CAN fully cope with not... Doing that" he said quietly. "But the first part of that is talking to me. To us"

Stella nodded, quieter than normal.

Romeo swallowed but bit back his apprehension and slowly nodded in assent.

"A-alright. I promise"


End file.
